I've little time to write, but when the inspiration is perceived I cannot refuse composition.
I am agnostic. That designation, of course, fails to fully describe me. But it is a sufficient signifier to act as a referent for my metaphysical assent. Why is it then that, despite my inability to believe fully, I have of late felt an overwhelming presence of grace, of gratitude, of compassion, of love? I find myself weeping, sometimes uncontrollably, at even a hint of beauty or humility that happens upon me.
Beyond that, there is a deep, dark cloud of righteousness that hovers over me, obscuring even, at times, my eyes. I cannot escape it. (I know this sentence makes little sense. I am describing the affective, not the cognitive.)
Who will deliver me from God? I am terrified. In fact, I am so overcome by it even now that I cannot write more. It's too much.
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3 comments:
why is it that you want to be delivered from God?
I know we don't agree on....well....nearly anything lol. But I would just say take this to the Cross man, Jesus will not only help you with this sense of unrighteousness within you, because He cleanses us from all unrighteousness, but He will give you a new heart so that your will, will be to honor and glorify Him.
much love and peace to you that comes from on high!
Thanks for the comment, Nick! I should clarify that my query about who might deliver me from God has more to do with a rhetorical inquiry than an interrogative question. It arises from awe in the face of Something that I cannot see -- much like the prophets of the Hebrew Bible and the mystics of medieval Christianity. The unrighteousness I feel within myself is in a process of being mediated by the just One that I at times encounter and of whom, at others, I feel a total absence.
Very interesting. I love it when a person can be unapologetically transparent and maintain a level of respect for the world around them. Keep posting, I like dialogue from the other side of the fence.
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